I mentioned in a previous post how angry I was at him for the mess he left behind and the amount of time and energy I *had to* put into helping to take care of it. That was not entirely true. Mik put a lot of work into organizing people to pack and move his things and gave me the opportunity to not be involved more than once. Each time, I insisted that I needed to help.
I took on a higher level of emotional responsibility than was really needed. I also felt like I couldn't responsibly say no because of my previous experiences in helping people move - instead of trusting that Mik would really be able to organize the forces he needed from a distance and that people would show up. People did show up, the moving got done, and it would have been fine if I had simply stayed at home and helped unload everything into my garage.
It's ON!!! I'll be teaching my first naked yoga class at 7pm at Cotton Mill Studios, Suite 204 in Oakland on April 21st and every Thursday from then on. I'm excited. As far as I know, it will be the only naked co-ed yoga class being offered in the Bay Area. The space I found has big floor to ceiling windows that let in lots of light and are high enough to offer privacy. Gorgeous hardwood floors. So excited!!!
Come! Bring your friends! Do yoga naked with me!!! $15 a class and appropriate for all levels of fitness and experience. Bring your own mat - for obvious reasons. :o)
I'm pimping this class all over the internet. It's already on SFGate, Fetlife, Facebook, (feel free to pass these links around!) and I've submitted it to FunCheapSF. Will be making and posting flyers around town and sending info to local Naturist groups and resorts. Any other ideas?
Updated: Also posted to BABN and SFBay-Poly lists.
I've already posted it as a nickname on Facebook and will be using it from here on in. The Santosha I'm pretty serious about. The Honey Badger I'm really enthusiastic about *right now*, but I'm waiting to see if I still feel that way in a month.
Santosha is the second of the five Yogic niyamas, and I strongly identify with it. It translates loosely as "contentment." It's about experiencing balance, peace, and equanimity with whatever you are experiencing in that moment - and that this is the foundation of happiness. Plus I think it sounds cool after my first name.
The honey badger is just awesome. Thick-skinned, immune to poison, highly adaptable, and self-reliant. Just awesome. :o)
One day you finally knew what you had to do, and began, though the voices around you kept shouting their bad advice-- though the whole house began to tremble and you felt the old tug at your ankles. "Mend my life!" each voice cried. But you didn't stop. You knew what you had to do, though the wind pried with its stiff fingers at the very foundations, though their melancholy was terrible. It was already late enough, and a wild night, and the road full of fallen branches and stones. But little by little, as you left their voices behind, the stars began to burn through the sheets of clouds, and there was a new voice which you slowly recognized as your own, that kept you company as you strode deeper and deeper into the world, determined to do the only thing you could do-- determined to save the only life you could save.
The Space:Mid-sized bedroom in a 2 bedroom, 1.5 bath (with giant bathtub!) duplex with two-car garage, large kitchen (with a double oven and dishwasher!) and spacious common area with a (very) small yard in a quiet gated community in downtown San Leandro. The house is about 1 mile from San Leandro BART; a block from the local bus stop; and walking distance to Safeway, the local Farmer’s Market, good coffee, local restaurants and cafes. Special perks include: lots and lots of kitchen storage space for your exclusive use; half of the garage for your car – or storage; fireplace; washer and dryer; and new carpeting.
The Vibe: I’m a bisexual, polyamorous, sex positive woman. I’m looking for someone comfortable with all these things – and maybe is all these things, too? I’m a trained yoga instructor, hoop dancer, certified massage therapist (generous with trades when asked!), and occasional birth attendant. I have a seven year old son who spends alternate weekends and summers with me. I also have a quiet, friendly, non-shedding indoor dog and a long haired outdoor cat. I would be open to another outdoor cat as long as everyone gets along. I keep the space clean and well-maintained and would like to find someone who can do the same.
If Interested: My name is Sahra. Contact me by cell (707-365-5199) or email (email@example.com) to set up a time to look at the space. Rent is $600 a month – this includes garbage, and I’m willing to negotiate how we split other utilities. There is no credit check – but I would like references from previous rentals and proof of income. I’m asking 1 month’s rent as a deposit. Terms would be month-to-month, but I’d love to find someone willing to stay a while.
It’s been decided. On October 20th, 2010, we will wear purple in honor of the 6 gay boys who committed suicide in recent weeks/months due to homophobic abuse in their homes at at their schools. Purple represents Spirit on the LGBTQ flag and that’s exactly what we’d like all of you to have with you: spirit. Please know that times will get better and that you will meet people who will love you and respect you for who you are, no matter your sexuality. Please wear purple on October 20th. Tell your friends, family, co-workers, neighbors and schools.
RIP Tyler Clementi, Seth Walsh (top) RIP Justin Aaberg, Raymond Chase (middle) RIP Asher Brown and Billy Lucas. (bottom)
REBLOG to spread a message of love, unity and peace.
I've been getting questions about my emotional availability from people. More questions about where I am in terms of relationship availability. The short answer is that I'm not looking for anything serious right now.
The longer, more self-indulgent answer is that I don't know. I'm figuring things out as I go, trying not to give more than I have to offer, and trying not to hurt the people I'm connecting with in the process. I want close, cuddly, emotional relationships and have been attempting to build them. However, I find myself freezing up and retreating when I start to feel the warm fuzzies. Just hearing terms of endearment from others right now has me feeling like jumping up on a chair and shrieking like a 50's sitcom housewife who has seen a mouse. I've spent a good part of my dating life going directly from one intense primary relationship to another and I'm doing everything I can to avoid doing that again. The only relationship I have felt safe indulging my desire for emotional intimacy right now is mikz - and a lot of that feeling of safety has come from knowing that I can allow myself to become as close as I want because he will be leaving for Australia next year.
I know this is a temporary thing and I won't feel like this forever. In a way, I'm glad that I seem to be guarding myself from another leap into another committed, but mismatched, pairing - but I'm a little sad that I can't just celebrate the positive connections I'm building without an underlying feeling of anxiety.
I'm moving for the fourth time in four years next month and each time I am shocked at how much stuff I have accumulated, most of it functionally useless. Each time I pack, a disproportionate number of boxes become labeled: Decor. Buddha, Kuan Yin, that gigantic rock I dragged home from the beach... They say that how much you take with you is a sign of how much of your life you want to leave behind. Coming from Oregon I brought nothing but Merlin, clothes, a box of books, and a sun hat. Everything fit into my VW Beetle. Four years and four moves later I take up more boxes than that first move with just hula hoops and pillows. No one really NEEDS the sheer number of cookbooks I've collected. I suppose as the years have passed I've been more willing to cling to and carry with me the life I've been building around myself.
So... Quit the office job in January and, while finances are fine without my previous contribution, I feel like a leech - despite repeated assurances that I am not. Since I was 17 I have always had a job. Started out working as an assistant coach for a high school debate team, then pottery glazer, barista, administrative assistant, herbal family care instructor, telephone psychic, 10 hours a day as a pallet slinger, massage therapist, event planner, doula... With nothing but school I'm bored - no matter how much I fill the remaining hours. I'm not feeling tired at the end of the day and I can't seem to sleep. A friend working as a professional dominatrix almost has me convinced that being a pro sub may be something to try. It certainly seems more interesting than a desk and I'm sure it would generate a few fun anecdotes for my autobiography. :o)
Randomness I'm still awake, and it's past 5am. Not too thrilled about it. I'll probably just stay up through the night and reset my body clock around 9am with a cafe Cubano. Then crash after I get home around midnight. That should do it!
I've finally decided to ask out the adorable German professor who teaches my Human Sexual Behavior class when the semester is over - even though she'll probably either think I'm too young (I think she's in her late 40's?), or she's straight (I know for a fact she has a boyfriend - but when has that ever mattered?). I always seem to be attracted to straight women... and I've always been a sucker for accents...
I certainly hope not. Facebook already seems to provide all the stream-of-consciousness sharing I've needed so far (and I am a hopeless Facebook addict...). However, I'm finding that many friends are using this and I am nothing if not nosy!